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Listen and Look

Several years ago Ali Edwards introduced the idea of choosing a word for each year and carrying it with you, making it part of your life, that year and beyond. I have been participating in this for several years now: finish, 2009, simplify, 2010, learn, 2011, listen, 2012
I just realised I hadn't posted about my word for 2013 yet!

I didn't always carry my word for 2012, listen, consiously with me. But once in a while, I reminded myself of it. And I think I did a better job listening this year, although I still have a lot to learn. I found there's a reward in opening your ears and heart to people; people grant you their trust and open up to you. I have had some very special moments with friends this year because I cared enough and shut up long enough to truly listen and let them share what was in their minds and hearts.
I've learned interesting stuff by just listnening in stead of showing off my wits by trowing jokes and remarks into the conversation. Something I still do, mind you, but a little less often ;-) It helps that my world has grown so much bigger now that I'm able to study and do volunteer work and attend many fun and interesting activities. When my world was smaller, I felt a strong need to express myself whenever I did engage in social activities and didn't always leave enough space for others to add to a conversation or paid enough attention to what they were saying. Now that I get to talk to many more people much more often, I get enough chances to express myself and that pressing need has found an outlet, which makes it much easier for me to attend to what others are saying.
Maarten recently told me he had heard or read somewhere that in order to have someone feel like they had a balanced conversation with you, is when you let them do 75% of the talking. Taking enough time for someone also helps, that way you're not in a hurry to catch up but you can truly connect. This can mean meeting up often, or meeting rarely but spending a whole day together when you do.

I have chosen 'Look' as my word for 2013. I'm hoping it will remind me to keep my eyes open to things that might otherwise go unnoticed. To pay more attention to the visual aspects of communicating with people. To look more closely again before taking a photo in stead of just snapping away. To look for opportunities that might appear. And my studies this upcoming year will mostly be about art history, so looking at art will be a huge theme in my life.

Geplaatst op 19-04-2013.
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Reactie van Maarten

Reactie geplaatst op 2013-04-26.

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